Posts Tagged NFRN

Poirot digs for the mole

Poirot, he notes that on the webbsofleverington website the question it is asked “Who is the mole behind the newsinsider website. This is indeed a puzzle which will stretch the little grey cells but already they are working. The mole he is …. perhaps two people …. perhaps more. We will have to wait as the evidence, she unfolds.

Poirot, he makes no excuse for copying what it is printed on the site of Monsieur Webb, for it is here that we may find some clue to the identity of the mole.

June 16th 2009
PHONE CALL received JUNE 16TH (715 am)
.
Webbo my old chum, where did you hear of news insider?
We haven’t started using it yet, but we will and god help those that don’t play ball!

What makes you think it’s a newsagent who has opened a new website?
You may be right, but you certainly could be wrong!.

We intend to tell the truth where certain publications are made to tow the party line,
look at RN this week, accurate reporting, didn’t do them any favours!

No Webbo, I’m not a newsagent, BUT I sure know what goes on,

On behalf of everyone within the trade your efforts are much appreciated for the ordinary
Newsagents, keep it up, I will be watching your site and may use your stuff!

Have a good life Webbo! And keep pulling those Inserts out!

Bye!
Who was the person?

Was it a Newsagent? Was a Publisher? Was it a Wholesaler?
Who knows,
but it certainly was NOT the NEW NFRN National President !

Monsieur Webb, he writes of the “we” but then his caller to him says “I’m not a newsagent”. Why then does Monsieur Webb seek the identity of a mole?; a little brown thing that undermines you, has teeth like the snippers, and who trips you up with la taupinière …. how do you say …. the mole-hill. This, it suggests to Poirot, is somebody on the inside of the NFRN; Mon Dieu, c’est possible, an employee of the NFRN? Poirot, he does not yet know.

Is it a publisher? L’homme with the longest nose, it is Monsieur Des O’Do Dah. He it is that cultivates Les Présidents like they are the species most rare. He sniffs around their private parts like the faithful dog licking his way into their confidence. He is too obvious to be the mole and in any case the mole he snips not licks.

Monsieur Webb, he discounts Monsieur Le Président Khonat but no explanation does he give. Why is this? Monsieur Webb, he knows already there is a mole and his identity it is known to him? They are the chums …. mais oui …. Monsieur Webb, it is already known to him the identity of the mole and it is not Le Président Khonat.

Monsieur Le Snipper, it is not because his command of the English – it is lacking. Mais oui, a mole he looks like …. mais oui, a mole he behaves like …. the mole that Poirot seeks …. mais non. Le Snipper, he does the deals most clandestine and his little arms they reach into every orifice of the Federation. But to Poirot, he is an insignificance.

Monsieur Le Serpent-Blanc, he is never sure what it is known to him so him it cannot be? Or could this be the bluff? Could it be that be that he plays the double agent? He puts on the charade of incompetence in order to mislead? We know he can be decisive when it is necessary but the decisions, are they right? It is not for Poirot to rake over the ashes here because it deflects him from his quest for the mole. It is sufficient that Poirot, he says that Monsieur Le Serpent-Blanc is too narrow minded to be the mole.

Monsieur Le Jagged-Edge, he also could be la taupe but he I am thinking he is la vipère, how do you say, The Viper. The snake in the grass that spreads his poison like the black adder. He that is feared by the hierarchy of the NFRN because, for his favours, he extracts the price most high. Monsieur Le Snipper, he will soon find this out and the day he met Le Jagged-Edge he will regret …. a clandestine deal too far.

Poirot, he suspects it is Monsieur Pissoir that is the mole because it is he who runs the National Executive Committee. Monsieur Webb and Monsieur Pissoir, they have kept their allegiance well hidden, behaving as enemies, waving at one another the big stick, how do you say, the Rule 34. Here is the bluff most brave. But the proof, it is lacking.

For now, Poirot, he rests the little grey cells and will return another day with the answer most profound.

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NFRN Department of This and That

It is with bated breath that I await the launch by President Khonat of the new Department of This and That.

I am concerned that, until the Terms of Reference of this new Department are published, there is the possibility that it may wander and encompass the Other.  The thought that the sub-committee responsible for day to day governance of the new Department might be lead by Snipper Singh is too much to bear; my eyes are watering as I lie on the floor howling with laughter.

I cannot take it for much longer – THE DEPARTMENT OF THIS THAT AND THE OTHER.

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DAWSON NEWS in TROUBLE!

NEWS INTERNATIONAL CALL TIME.

NEWSINSIDER was about to break the news of the sudden collapse of News Wholesaler DAWSON NEWS, but we read the news flash on the Webbo site who it seems was one step ahead. However we have been digging for information and can now reveal the latest news.

We have been aware of the problems facing Dawson’s for the past few weeks, and have knowledge of the vast sums involved owed to Publishers, so its no surprise that News International have made the first move on making alternative arrangements to get their titles delivered to the retailers. No doubt the other publishers will follow the NI route by pleading to the other two main wholesalers Smiths News and Menzies to help them out.

It must also be a concern for the National Federation of Retail Newsagents for we know that Dawson’s collect their weekly subscriptions on their behalf, and simple arithmetic will shock the finance committee at Yeoman House.

Newsinsider believes the officials hopefully have the situation ring fenced, but estimating the wholesaler having some 3000 NFRN customers, for the last seven weeks (we anticipate the month of April being paid) the NFRN could be waiting in the region of a six figure sum!

More worrying for the federation this closure could lead to a membership collapse, the newsagent will be informed of alternative arrangements in collection of membership fees, which undoubtedly will be a shock to some newsagents actually remembering they were still paying the £5.75p weekly fee.

It’s also apparent that some newsagents will consider the options of whether the benefits are beneficial in today’s current climate which could lead to massive losses to the federation income

Obviously, the NFRN big boys saw this coming or were they too busy partying on the Torquay Riviera! OUCH!

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KHONAT not at the RACES!

The National Federation of Retail Newsagents held their Annual Conference at Torquay last week, and newly elected National President in his opening speech sent shock waves throughout the whole Industry within minutes of his 26 minute 32 second time on the rostrum.

Solly Khonat from Blackburn who was elected by a show of hands, has been on the scene for a number of years, and whilst his die hard supporters may be happy with his success of reaching the pinnacle of the federation even they must have been alarmed of his new revolutionary plans for the next twelve months.

Within minutes of his opening remarks he mortified conference when stating that the NFRN have been spending too much time on news and magazines which is now irrelevant in a declining trade, and emphasised the NFRN would now focus their attentions to fighting the erosion in Tobacco sales!

This created headlines news in the weekly trade magazine (Retail Newsagent) last Thursday and despite Khonat now trying to retract such remarks the damage has already been done, and the backlash from the industry certainly waits! Copies of the man’s speech are available on the federation website, and whilst it paints a slightly different picture, the facts remain not everyone at the venue was asleep!

The outgoing National President Naresh Purohit from Kent had his supporters to the degree that in one publisher’s opinion he was the federations best ever president, and whilst that comment may fail to attract every ones opinion, the man never the less had the professional knowledge knowing that the NFRN main objective was news and magazines, always has been, and always will be.

This was clearly stated at the February National Council meeting Birmingham when Purohit emphasised most strongly he did not need to apologise for the time being spent on the subject because news and magazines is the NFRN and always will be.

Whilst delegates were flabbergasted, no doubt publishers and wholesalers were organising a party to celebrate the NFRN no longer being an issue within the news trade for the NFRN National President believes his members now believe the industry is heading into the non entity syndrome.

Mind you, if everyone believes the statement made by Khonat in the current edition of the Convenience Store that against all odds the NFRN membership is currently increasing, then he must have the opinion the sky is the limit!,

No doubt Mr Khonat is now looking remove the whole news operations committee, and I should imagine the head of the news/magazines Stefan Wojciechowski will be seen down the his local job centre, but then again he could be in line on the new public affairs committee!

Only time will tell, but the sooner someone starts to install the mechanism of the NFRN to Khonat the better, for unless this decision is reversed immediately then newsagents guru Webbo’s prediction of five years ago will almost certainly become a reality! And that would never do!

(NFRN)

Not For Real Newsagents!

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